What am i? why do i exist? am i not but a blink, a flicker, a single frame in the infinite movie that is time?
I am not a man right now, but a person. When i think of women, i am a man, and when i think of men, i am still a man, but right now, i think of neither, and so i am only a person A person whose will to exist is persistent. I, 19 years ago, manifested myself in this body. Why? I don't remember. It is through my life that I work to remember. But what i know is that when i knew, it was vary important, so important that one day I'll remember this why, and then i will die.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
lets give this blog stuff a try.
You know, for some reason i misspell on the computer a lot more then i do in real life, or on paper i should say. another thing i noticed is that my vocabulary on the computer seems to be more limited then my writing vocabulary. In order of most vocabulary to least, Written - Spoken - Typed. that is part of the reason i'm blogging, to improve my typing, and to, i dono express myself, and keep a record. not that i expect anyone to read this....... now i'v just gone into some 3rd dimension where all my thoughts just come to my hands , like why am i really writing this? why did i even write that last sentence if i'm not expecting anyone to read it? human beings are strange things. anyways, continued. I have seen my vocabulary dwindle from what it was not only 3 months ago. it's quite frustrating because it takes work to have such a range of expression, and i'm finding it even harder to regrow it through typed words. I also miss the pen, it served me well and calls for me like an old friend. what times we had. for me pen was always greater then pencil and now all i use is pencil for mathematics.
Life seems full of loss, to keep my old, and rich vocabulary it needs reinforcement, to keep my drawing and painting as flowing and abstract as it was, it too needs reinforcement. To maintain the beautiful music brimming from the bell of my clarinet, i need practice. why oh why are we so forgetful?
Well this is the summery of my day, which today was more eventful then usual. but it's boring to read because the full experience was more emotional then eventful.
So today was fun, and i started the day like normal, playing Sim City 4, building my cities high and wide. so then my brother come in and tells me that i need to get ready. we are going to steak and shake. "great" i think, i wanted to do that yesterday night, when it actually mattered. Well we went and ate, it was good but strangely it was really crowded. So yeah then i go to blockbuster and rent a movie, Fast and Furious, the latest one. It was a good movie i gotta tell you, not like amazing, but good. so all normal right? kinda, because a real usual day consists of mostly just homework and video games. but anyhow, then i call up a friend and like we planned yesterday i went to meet up at an acquaintance's house. They are having a video game tournament, and a lot of people i dont know are there. i'm really not a social person when it comes to just straight up conversation, i always need situations. so well it starts boring enough, but then i find my friend Luis upstairs and these 2 other guy's I've never seen, and we start watching youtube videos. nothing gets people together more then laughing. next i go down and watch more people play games and the "party" didn't really start until my best friend arrives, and the main tournament stops. then we really start talking, laughing and pulling jokes.
so then we go to joy luck buffet, a place that was supposed to be cheap but ended up being much more then i expected. To my aliviations the guys i watched youtube vids with and some other people i half-know came with us. We pulled 3 tables together for a party of 11 and we had even more crazy fun but i hope we didn't make the waitresses too angry, because we made quite the racket/mess. so after that the party went outside and to the loop, it was really packed with "generic" people, and watched surrogates, which was a really good movie, again not amazing but on the higher then average scale rating. I for some reason became a lot more talkative during the movie then i usually am, making comments through it, hope i didn't annoy anyone, so then i went home and we talked all the way until i dropped the last friend at his house. Now, i'm writing this, why? i dont know i just felt like i've had a lack of writing.
You know, for some reason i misspell on the computer a lot more then i do in real life, or on paper i should say. another thing i noticed is that my vocabulary on the computer seems to be more limited then my writing vocabulary. In order of most vocabulary to least, Written - Spoken - Typed. that is part of the reason i'm blogging, to improve my typing, and to, i dono express myself, and keep a record. not that i expect anyone to read this....... now i'v just gone into some 3rd dimension where all my thoughts just come to my hands , like why am i really writing this? why did i even write that last sentence if i'm not expecting anyone to read it? human beings are strange things. anyways, continued. I have seen my vocabulary dwindle from what it was not only 3 months ago. it's quite frustrating because it takes work to have such a range of expression, and i'm finding it even harder to regrow it through typed words. I also miss the pen, it served me well and calls for me like an old friend. what times we had. for me pen was always greater then pencil and now all i use is pencil for mathematics.
Life seems full of loss, to keep my old, and rich vocabulary it needs reinforcement, to keep my drawing and painting as flowing and abstract as it was, it too needs reinforcement. To maintain the beautiful music brimming from the bell of my clarinet, i need practice. why oh why are we so forgetful?
Well this is the summery of my day, which today was more eventful then usual. but it's boring to read because the full experience was more emotional then eventful.
So today was fun, and i started the day like normal, playing Sim City 4, building my cities high and wide. so then my brother come in and tells me that i need to get ready. we are going to steak and shake. "great" i think, i wanted to do that yesterday night, when it actually mattered. Well we went and ate, it was good but strangely it was really crowded. So yeah then i go to blockbuster and rent a movie, Fast and Furious, the latest one. It was a good movie i gotta tell you, not like amazing, but good. so all normal right? kinda, because a real usual day consists of mostly just homework and video games. but anyhow, then i call up a friend and like we planned yesterday i went to meet up at an acquaintance's house. They are having a video game tournament, and a lot of people i dont know are there. i'm really not a social person when it comes to just straight up conversation, i always need situations. so well it starts boring enough, but then i find my friend Luis upstairs and these 2 other guy's I've never seen, and we start watching youtube videos. nothing gets people together more then laughing. next i go down and watch more people play games and the "party" didn't really start until my best friend arrives, and the main tournament stops. then we really start talking, laughing and pulling jokes.
so then we go to joy luck buffet, a place that was supposed to be cheap but ended up being much more then i expected. To my aliviations the guys i watched youtube vids with and some other people i half-know came with us. We pulled 3 tables together for a party of 11 and we had even more crazy fun but i hope we didn't make the waitresses too angry, because we made quite the racket/mess. so after that the party went outside and to the loop, it was really packed with "generic" people, and watched surrogates, which was a really good movie, again not amazing but on the higher then average scale rating. I for some reason became a lot more talkative during the movie then i usually am, making comments through it, hope i didn't annoy anyone, so then i went home and we talked all the way until i dropped the last friend at his house. Now, i'm writing this, why? i dont know i just felt like i've had a lack of writing.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
